It's extraordinary. You are not more than 3 feet away from the dam, so unintentionally hitting the national treasure is comparable to the course. For example, while trying to take a photo of one of the balcony gardens inspired by stunning Japanese, a nearby man came aside to take in the unobstructed views for me. I took a double take when I thanked him. It was Sir Brian May, the legendary Queen. Of course that's true. It's very Chelsea.
Celebrities such as Joanna Lumley, Mary Berry, Kate Garraway and Amy Dowden will wander the gardens with heeled RHS members and guests. Naturally, there is a Pimm tap and a row of champagne flutes ready. Main Avenue is a river of women in floral maxi dresses and men in linen suits and fedoras. In the pastels, Chelsea pensioners rest on mobility scooters, unmistakable in scar-colored uniforms and medal lines.
It's not difficult to wipe everything out at the Chelsea Flower Show. Especially since the BBC's near-continuous coverage means there are camera setups everywhere. If you're an avid viewer, you might even get a glimpse of me accidentally wandering through shots behind hosts Angelica Bell and Nicky Chapman.
One of my first stops was the dog-friendly gardens of world gardener host Monty Don. And the man himself happened to be there with his loyal Golden Retriever and Muse, Ned. The garden is rich with deep Burgundy lupines, tangerine gauze splashes, wine-colored poppies and bubbly fennel.
The tricky stream is littered with tennis balls, but it sweeps the boundaries of the road and seduces dog friends. It's really lovely. (It was wondering about me, but what does a garden designed for cats look like? A large gravel pit with swing balls in the center, catnip boundaries and a strict one-one-out policy.)
But I'm honestly not here to find the stars. As an obsession, I'm really here for the plants. Inside the flower pavilion there are over 100 displays of perfect specimens. The four-foot tall allium is proud, and Hosta and Delfinum are not devoured by snails. (What is the secret?)
Even the humble chrysanthemums are promoted to star state with the bloom of choice placed in a giant dome. Visitors can travel around the world in just a few steps. One stand featured a typically theatrical theatrical South African Protea Bloom, similar to an oversized artichoke that appears to be alive given you a chance. The display along the following display celebrated the Antiguan flora with palm and pineapple plants.
When it comes to show gardens, one of the standouts for me was Glass House Garden. A shameful, glamorous and flashy creation that supports charity that empowers female prisoners through gardening. It's not a garden, it's a living bouquet. A chunk of pink and lilac roses, Nicotiana “Tinkerbell”, lime-green petals and rusty undersides, paper poppies in the heart of a deep Burgundy.
After the show, it is relocated to HMP Downview in Banstead, where it offers some joy to the prisoners. It's just that it makes you smile. In stark contrast, its pathway garden, with its gentle coloured palate and simple planting, caught my amateur gardening eye. Fluffy seed grasses turn bobs up in the wind. Angelica, ferns, geraniums and iris fill the borders. It is more attainable than most show gardens, and for good reason to brighten up the homeless centres in Plymouth.
My notebook was full of unreadable doodles and I walked away with some ambitious ideas due to my own discreet plot. So, where is my trowel?
