My previous sailing lessons 20 years ago were not entirely successful. I was on the eaves of the voyage.
“Turn left,” the sailing instructor said. “Okay,” I replied.
“It's not you! Boat!”
“Ah, that's right.”
“No, left!”
So this time, on the north coast of Jamaica, I'm in the hands of a kind instructor, Carlsen.
And within minutes of launching the Hobby Cat into the Caribbean, and with a positive wind, I'm doing the basics of steering and generally pointing the boat in the direction Carlsen wants to go to us.
I'm not bumping any other hobbies, kayakers, coral reefs or actually adjacent Cuba north.
Unfortunately, the next day's lessons near the gorgeous Sandal Dan's River Resort, Ochorios, are not blessed with favorable winds, and in addition to steering, they include what they are now turning.
With the guidance of the instructor Tavoy patient, I tried a jibe turn (easy as it turns with the wind), did I vaguely turn it to the right or did it remain?
The next day, Sailing Lesson 3 was a victory! Well, Kinderwind came back and I decided to prepare a sailing bug.
Better yet, sailing tuition fees are included in the holiday price of sandals, along with other water sports such as kayak, paddleboarding, cheerful, resilient, fast member inflatable rides, snorkeling, crown jewels, and Padis Cuba diving.
Keeping things floating and I signed up for a glass bottom boat trip that was included. There, Captain Jack Sparrow (who wasn't sure he was giving us his real name) sailed from the resort past the beach and waterfalls of laughing Waters – a filming location where No and bikini-covered Ursula Andres from the first Bond movie, stepped into the legend of the cinematic.
Ironically, the only marine life I found was a quick glance at the fish flying above the surface, not underwater through the bottom of the glass.
Landrubber is home to activities such as golf, beach volleyball, reggae dance classes, trivia quizzes, aerobics, pool tables, and similarly on the Dunn's River (like a waterfall like a nearby waterfall).
And of course you are in a luxurious Caribbean resort with great beaches, five pools and a swim-up bar. If you want to, lie down on the lounger, get a tan, read a book, and enjoy a cocktail or two.
However, you cannot keep avid beginner sailors away from the water, so I joined a half-day island excursion to the Martha Bray River to ride a bamboo raft. The rafting centre is located near Falmouth and takes about an hour by bus. There's a fruit punch while waiting for the 3-mile journey (the bus is waiting for the last time).
Life in Jamaica's slow lane is fun as Raft Captain Peter put me on a punt-style craft and then headed out into the gentle flowing green waters.
Peter who created this raft was a non-stop barrage of Martha Bray's knowledge. No surprise, he has been doing this since 1983.
Tourist attractions include impressive trees, slavery monuments and old sugar mills with steam rollers of charcoal equipment painted with applause. Peter's new raft is lighter than many other watergrogged old ones, so there are some overtakings as I'd like to go back to base for my second trip in the afternoon. So why is his river nickname hot rod?
Still, in the slightest shade of the wood, it's a completely enjoyable slow speed of 50 minutes. The Raft Captain carves the decorations of dried karabasspods (dried gourd shapes) for souvenir beakers. Of course, they're going to sell a $20 well as a tip and memorabilia.
Resort
This site has had hotels since the late 1950s. This is the exceptional Sandal 2.0 incarnation after a multi-million dollar reimagining and expansion that debuted in 260 guest rooms in 2023.
By sandal standards it is a 25-acre compact site, with landscaping being an important aspect. A team of 29 gardeners lined up the lush ground untouched. Herbs are grown around the garden for the kitchen.
Also on these premises are the signature Red Lane Spa, with sandals for luxurious pampering and Caribbean-inspired treatments using natural local products, plus the use of steam rooms and hot plunge pools.
Jamaica is of course blessed with abundant forests and I really liked the way wood is used attractively around the resort for decoration and furniture.
food
There are 12 restaurants and nine bars to choose from, but you won't suffer from dehydration. I made a heroic effort to go round all the dining venues, but it was a failure of the delicious taste.
A standout for me was the Hamani Sushi venue for a dazzling array of fish and vegetables (last night, I was very good), and I was surprised to see the surf and grass in the South/Latin American themed zooka.
The beachfront jerkshack provided a surprise. The local dish of the stewed pork tail tasted much better than my preconceived notions were supposed to.
For cocktails, you'll head to the wood-rich rum club in the evenings by the swim-up bar, where the mixologists create wonders with rum and more.
Next to the lamb bar is the real gem, Blum Cafe. It specializes in Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee, made from beans grown exclusively for the resort and delivered daily. The shaded garden here is a great place for morning lattes and nitro cold brews.
One night we left the resort in Miss T's kitchen in downtown Ochorios and experienced rustic Jamaican cuisine. The cod starter was pleasantly immersed in chicken curry with rice and beans (why am I a celebrity about rice and beans? It's tasty!).
room
Ah, I'm in a Butler level suite. It's very special with the Welsh size (a slight exaggeration), the size of my local cinema (same) and the bed in the plunge pool on the balcony.
Very helpful and friendly butlers Akeem and Fernando are merely (supplied) phone/text from booking sunroungers at Prime Spot, lining up snacks at the restaurant table in the room, and magically arriving as thoughts have occurred.
Entertainment
Most evening events are located in the main plaza, with a lot of diversity and quality. During my week there were displays from local acrobats, dancers and aerial swing artists, but the standout was an eye-opening fire juggling show and a great illusionist.
And how delightful it would be to serenade guests with a gentle classic tune when they put their breakfast-time violinists on the bridge in the main pool and foraged at a buffet of granola, melon slices and pineapple juice.
Book a holiday
Sandals are a luxury room at Travertine at Sandals Dan's River Resort near Ochorios in Jamaica, offering a comprehensive stay of 7 nights starting from £2,625ppp. On September 30th, we will depart Heathrow with our virgin Atlantic, 23kg of luggage and travel. £4,565pp from Tufa Terrace One Bedroom Skypool Butler Suite with Balcony Tranquility Soaking Tub. Sandals.co.uk
More information on visitjamaica.com
